Waking up and seeing that Sam Neill had passed away hit me strangely hard. “Snap out of it, dude. People die. You will too.” That was the thought running through my head. But… it wasn’t how I was feeling.

Being someone who does a lot of research, I took a moment to see if it was a ‘thing’ to be sad about a movie celebrity's passing. And it turned out it is very common and totally normal.

A sense of relief washed over me, allowing me to sink into the grief.
It's not like losing family or a friend. But someone whose music, movies, or art gave you comfort or a sense of connection is still a real loss.  Their work is stitched into your own history. Your childhood. An era. Losing them can feel like losing a piece of that.

There are many that I recall that when they died, it took me a while to regain my footing. I didn’t completely understand why at the time.
When Leonard Nimoy (Spock from Star Trek) died, I fumbled a client meeting so terribly that the client dropped their project. No joke. That was the most visceral I recall.

Others like Robin Williams, Sean Connery, Carrie Fisher, Rob Reiner, Harold Ramis, Michael Crichton, and even, of late, Eric Dane hit me hard, though I don’t recall exactly how I reacted at the time. Though I did binge-rewatch Dane’s show The Last Ship.

But Neill’s passing and reading the information about Parasocial Grief made me realize that it really was about taking a piece of my youth and making me reflect on the past and other losses. Nimoy wasn’t just Spock. He symbolized my family watching TV, adventure, and later, the last time my whole family would gather and watch a movie in the theater (ST: VI).

With Neill, it was that new adventure with dinosaurs. DINOSAURS! I went back and devoured Michael Crichton’s novels about them and couldn’t wait for the next movie. Sure, I had loved him in Dead Calm, The Hunt for Red October, and The Piano, but this was a whole new level. AND an era of my life. I don’t want to reflect on that particular era at the moment, but it was significant.

You may not be moved by Neill’s passing, and that’s okay. It could be a singer, a local artist you admired, a writer, or really anyone you admired who contributed to your life but never met. Just know it’s okay to take a moment to be sad, to mourn the loss, and to reflect on what they meant to you in your life.